Since a very young age I’ve been in search of something more and have felt a distinct longing to understand my soul and be true to my heart’s calling.
I began the journey by walking myself into a nondenominational Christian church when I was 13 years old. For the following 5 years I became a fairly conservative and religious girl who was determined to please God. But eventually I felt constricted by the rules and confinement of organized religion. I felt frustrated by the limitations that the church put on my curious and expanding mind.
So at age 18–fully anxious and entirely curious about the world–I left the church and began dipping my toes in mindfulness, yoga, meditation, and spirituality that existed beyond religion. Then from my late teens to my mid 20s, I gradually moved from dipping my toes in spirituality and mindfulness to full on swimming in its expansive sea.
I spent a substantial amount of time exploring on my own both externally and especially internally. I’d camp by myself or sleep in my car overnight in a canyon, travel alone nationally and internationally, journal in-depth and transparently about my longings and thoughts, practice ecstatic dance in my studio apartment, and experiment with yoga and meditation. Anything that helped me to experience life deeper and expand my awareness… I wanted it.
I studied Gender & Women’s Studies in college which helped me to access empowerment. Meanwhile, my spiritual practices helped me to connect to the wild feminine parts of myself that I felt through connecting to nature. It was in the quiet solitude of the trees that I was able to move deeper into myself, as if in the presence of the greatest spiritual teacher. Nature has the power to guide women toward an awareness of themselves that is far beyond the superficial identities we are often burdened with in western society.
I traveled to India, Thailand, Guatemala, and other countries. My visit to Guatemala at age 22 marked the first time I ever traveled internationally by myself. Two years later I trekked 50 miles through the Andes Mountains in Peru to Machu Picchu. In my mid-late 20s I lived in a van in Alaska for half a year, and then a yurt in rural Washington for a year.
Through it all, I wrestled with hindering anxiety and practiced calming my mind through my practices. Anxiety is a state of being that I continue to and likely always will experience, but I've been able to understand and manage it over the years through self-awareness and spiritual exploration. I'd even say that my continually expanding awareness of myself has helped me at times to leverage anxiety as a helpful tool.
Over the last decade, I’ve been bush-wacking my way toward my heart. I’ve certainly found myself lost at times – like after graduating college, feeling disconnected from myself, and winding up in a soul-sucking relationship –after which I left my job and my commitments and started fresh. The turbulence of that time propelled me through a period of stripping my life down to what matters most and reconnecting with the place of truth inside me.
I’ve been on an intense, introspective, internal journey. Through it all I’ve developed a deep connection to myself and have learned to live an intentional life driven from within.
I’m now shifting into a new phase of sharing my journey with other women and helping them navigate their own journeys. I do so by providing tools and holding space that allows it to all unfold. Those I help come with their own seeds of growth. The answers and purpose they long for is within, as it is for each of us, and all I do is help them access the resources they need to nurture that seed and grow into the beautiful being they’ve always contained the potential for.